Melodies of the Heart & Soul...

2011-10-30T22:53:00.002+08:00

Been searching for some wallpapers for my laptop and stumbled upon some pictures of tulips. It reminded me of how much I loved tulips. I've never seen a real tulip before in my life (sad isn't it) and I made a mental note to myself that if I ever had the chance to visit Europe, I must make a stop at Holland and its beautiful tulip gardens. Must be a breathtaking sight!!

Heartaches...

2011-09-05T13:03:00.002+08:00

I feel so betrayed....is this the return that I deserve to get? Why do you break me in the same way, over and over again...

2011-07-03T11:13:00.004+08:00

When things go wrong,
when nothing is right.
When you've tried your best
It's still not good enough.
When you feel so exhausted,
you're dying inside.
When you can't accept the truth,
though it's just right there.
When you try to let it out,
just to find there's no one around.
So all you wanna do,
is to shut the world away
and run away to a place
where there is no despair.
You can scream all you want
At the top of your lungs
And no one would care
Cos there's no one there
All you ever wanted
Is to vanish from this world
Free from despair
Evanescent...
and Gone.

2011-05-07T22:50:00.004+08:00

For the past few months, I've been faced with all sorts of stress - stress to learn and be better and better at my job, stress to cope with the daily workload, stress to blend in with the colleagues, stress to deal with the clients, SSM people etc etc...and on top of that, stress for my coming exam in end of May (which, I haven't started preparing for).

Now, I have found myself some buddies at the work place that I enjoy spending my lunchtime with, the Company has confirmed me as their permanent staff, there are less mistakes in my work, but still, there is so much more to learn!! I wish I could fast forward to the day where I am already good at it. But I totally understand the concept of "No pain, no gain!". That is why, I'll just have to suck it all up and slave through it.

Along the way, there will be hanging up of calls, rude and demeaning tones from clients, stress from managers, yelling from that ***** from finance dept.....but it's ok, cos I know this is what we all have to go through so that we learn to be better. Because life will hand you all kinds of crap, but it really depends on how you handle it.

No pain, no gain!
Cheers ;-)

A Blessing in Disguise

2011-02-01T08:41:00.003+08:00

"It's truly a blessing in disguise."

That's what my mum used to say all the time. She said it again this morning, because of the floods in Johore. My brother stays in Johore and works in Singapore. Usually, he would travel back by train because it is much safer than buses. However, lately he couldn't get tickets. He tried to come back during Hari Raya last year -> failed, Christmas last year -> failed, New Year -> failed, and the most recent attempt, Chinese New Year -> of course, failed too. So I told him to get a ticket to KL, then he can travel back home with me. Then the floods happened, and all train services from Johore got canceled. Had my brother been able to buy the train tickets, he would not be able to come home this year! So, like my mum said, "A blessing in disguise". Haha! Thanks God for bringing the family back together this CNY.....it's been half a year since I last saw my brother. Miss him so much...I think my parents haven't seen him for more than half a year. They must miss him more ^^

无条件的爱

2011-01-27T20:26:00.002+08:00

前几天陪爸爸到医院做physiotherapy，遇到了一对夫妇带他们的女儿来。听我妈妈说，他们一家人常常都来，女儿本来是位大学生，正准备要进修Masters却发现脑袋里生了一个肿瘤。开刀后就变成了植物人，几个月后再醒来已经不会说话，不会走路，所有事情都不会做了。女生虽然很可怜，但是这样的事情发生，做父母的也很难受。只见那女生的父亲无微不至地照顾他的女儿，很耐心地教女儿跟着医护人员的指士去做，又陪女儿玩球。父母亲的眼神尽显出对女儿的爱与关怀，令我不禁想到，父母亲果然是最伟大的！试想想，如果这样的事情发生在你的身上，你的朋友或爱人还会永远守护在你身边吗？最终留在我们身边照顾我们的，就是父母亲！所以，当父母亲要求我们为他们做一点东西，在我们开始嫌麻烦之前，请停下来想一下，他们对我们的付出和牺牲，远比我们能够想象的多！最讨厌就是看到那些男人娶了老婆后就听老婆的话，不回家也不探望家人；也很讨厌那些女人把老公的家人当草，自己的家人当宝！希望我身边的人不会变成这样，要珍惜父母哦！

The Butterfly Effect

2011-01-07T15:37:00.002+08:00

Have you heard of the butterfly effect? While being commonly used as a metaphor nowadays, the concept originated from a term used in Chaos Theory proposed by a mathematician and meteorologist:

'The flap of a butterfly's wings may change the course of weather forever. A butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil may set off a tornado in Texas.'

I learned about this concept from watching movies (Yes, movies are informative!) and it intrigued me. To think that a seemingly small, insignificant event can cause siginificant repercussions and result in two very different outcomes. I kept thinking about it ever since I watched The Butterfly Effect (starring Ashton Kutcher) and The Oxford Murders (starring Elijah Wood). In The Oxford Murders, a remark made by Elijah Wood's character, 'You should try it too' triggered a series of events that reflects the unusual system in which the universe operates. I really liked these movies! The plot is so wonderfully constructed and at then end of the movie, all the pieces seem to fall logically into place. Salute to the brilliance of the movie producers!

Back to reality...do you think that a minor event now will change the course of our future forever? I truly believe so! I try my best to consider the consequences of my actions before making a decision. Although it is quite impossible to predict all the consequences, it is still better than deciding blindly. We only get to live our life once, so live responsibly and don't do anything that will ruin you life and regret later!

Check This Out!!

2011-01-02T22:56:00.004+08:00

Hey...this is a new e-mag that a friend of mine started. If you are free or just looking for something interesting to read in the net, you can try visiting this site:

It's really good, there are some short movie clips on interesting places to visit, eat and have fun in KL ;-) English translations are available for those who can't read Chinese. Support Support!!!

I Wanna Go...

2010-12-08T21:05:00.005+08:00

...to Egypt!! Yes, I wanna see the pyramids, wanna see the Sphinx, wanna see the tombs!! Like I've always told my friends, I wanna see them before some earthquake comes and destroy them all! And what if 2012 is true? Haha...I wonder how long do I need to save up before I can go? I'd also love to go to...

...Paris!! Yess...the Eiffel Tower and the beautiful architecture. *sigh* I figured I'd need at least 5 years' savings to go to these places. I'd be 30 by then. Ish~ Damn old la....why isn't my dad a billionaire? hehehe....I wanna go I wanna go I wanna go!!

*Snap!!* That's enough daydreaming for today. Time to get back to my work. T.T

Marriage

2010-11-28T15:21:00.002+08:00

Wow...it seems like we are experiencing a baby boom this year. So many people around me are having babies! I noticed something too: They got married because of the baby. It got me thinking, "Why so careless?"

Personally, I feel that it is such a mistake to get yourself pregnant before marriage. Then, it feels more like an obligation to get married rather than wanting it yourself. You'll never know if he is marrying you because he really wants so badly to spend the rest of his life with you or just out of responsibility because of that baby.

Anyway, this is just my personal opinion. I'm not here to judge =) But, it would be a much better idea not to do anything tat will get you pregnant...or if you can't help it, use protection la!!

1 Nov

2010-11-02T00:20:00.002+08:00

November is supposed to be my favourite month of the year, but the first day of November gave me many reasons to feel upset. Well, just need to keep a positive mind and forget bout those unhappy stuff!

Cheer up, Bells!!!

Sunrise!!

2010-10-18T23:06:00.002+08:00

Sunrise at Broga Hill. Beautiful sight...That's one of my dreams fulfilled! To watch the sunrise...lol...But there were too many people, so it wasn't exactly how I wanted it to be. Anyhow, I think it still counts =) I told my mum about it, but sadly, she didn't seem as excited as I thought she would be. Aiks...*disappointed* Never mind lah...generation gap, I guess...hehehe.

Crapping bout food

2010-10-02T18:37:00.005+08:00

It's Saturday and I have no place to go. Zzzzzz....spent my afternoon cleaning up the room and the desk (which was flooded with notes from last semester). Planned to go for a movie called Alpha and Omega, but ended up not going. Aiks.

Now I'll just focus my energy on thinking what to have for dinner...Hmmm...Lately I've been so obssessed with cheese. Arghhh!! I'd love to have Domino's double cheese decker crust and lasagna, the Spaghetti Bolognese from Delicious (which is also full of cheese), Chicken Cordon Bleu from Williams...Omg! I had roti cheese telur at Steven's Corner for dinner yesterday. It was heavenly...Not forgetting the naan cheese too! Suddenly I miss the crab dish and laksa in Ipoh. Aiiihhhh....when will I get to taste it again ~~

At the end of the day, I still haven't decided what and where to eat....

Maybank Service...sigh...

2010-09-15T16:53:00.002+08:00

This afternoon, I went to Maybank to close my bank account. Yes, I'm officially fed up with the stupid bank! Since I lost my bag to a snatch thief last year, I haven't had time to apply for a new ATM card. Sometime in July, I went to the Maybank Setapak branch to get a new ATM card. They told me to wait a few hours because my account was created in Ipoh, and they need the Ipoh branch to send some documents etc., or I can leave first then they'll call me to get it when it's ready. When they didn't call for 2 days, I went back to the bank to ask. The officer who served me that day was on leave, and her colleagues found my documents at the bottom of the work tray, without anything being done yet. So I'm told to wait again. After around 40 minutes, they still haven't called me to the counter. I'm starving, and I have some things to do for the afternoon! I asked how much longer to wait, they just told me, 'You wait lah.' I asked another time and got the same answer. That's when I got really fed up and left, making up my mind to close my account in that bank and never be their customer, ever. Comparing their service to Public Bank, who got me my new ATM card done in less than 30 minutes, Maybank really sucks!!!

Fulfilling day Monday

2010-09-15T16:15:00.008+08:00

I went to Cameron Highlands with my family! It was a fun and happy trip, because it has been years since we went on a trip together, mainly due to my dad's condition. It reminded me of the times when we were young, and my parents used to bring us on trips to Taiping and Cameron Highlands. Now, it's our turn to drive our parents around =) Mum and dad were nostalgic during the whole trip, talking about how it was like 20 years ago when they last set foot in Cameron Highlands...haha! I have always loved that place because of the beautiful flowers they have up there. I used to fantasize having a dream cottage up there surrounded by flowers where I can grow old playing my piano. I now realise how unrealistic that is =P Our last stop was at Cactus Valley and I bought some cacti. I plan to bring them back to my place at KL. My mission: to water and care for them until they bloom! I can imagine the satisfaction I'm going to have when my cactus flowers. Hehe. Then, I'm going to get myself a puppy. Lolz...

Cute!!!!Eating banana leaf rice~~Sedap!!

Serenity~

2010-09-09T11:55:00.003+08:00

Have you ever lived in self denial? When people make a remark about you, you just refuse to believe it. You tell yourself, "They just don't know me well enough!" Then one fine day, you realise that your closest friends think the same way about you too! So you finally sit down quietly and think, think, think, think, think, think, and think some more... To your own horror, you realise it's true what others say about you!!! Well this happened to me sometime during the last few months. It's frustrating when you tried your best to change, and people are still stuck with the same comments about you. So I thought, why on earth do I have to change myself to suit the society's opinion? Then I remembered this prayer I read a long time ago...

--The Serenity Prayer--
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

And I'm at peace =)

Omg....

2010-09-05T01:10:00.002+08:00

I just logged on into Facebook and received a message from a friend. She told me Jose died on the spot in an accident. Omg...I feel like crying now. This is too sudden! I can't believe this. The funeral's in Penang on Tuesday so I can't go. How I wish I could go...to say goodbye... Anyway, it just struck me how unpredictable life can be. Such a pity that his life is ended at such a young age. Not even married, not even had children...I still remembered the good times we had. It was a long time ago, but I'll always cherish the friendship. He was such a nice guy =) Urgh...mixed feelings...can't describe it. I still can't accept the fact >.<

Jose, I'll always remember you in my heart...R.I.P.

Vacation ~

2010-08-19T15:52:00.002+08:00

Right now I am yearning to go for a vacation...especially to the beach! I haven't been to the beach for yearssssssss. I haven't been to a beach with white sand T.T Only beaches I've been to are the ones in Lumut, Pangkor Island & Penang. The sands there are not white and smooth enough!!! I wana go to a real beach...Unfortunately, when these exams end, it'll be monsoon season & I can't go to the East Coast. But my bf have proposed to bring me to Bukit Tinggi though. After that, maybe Genting with my besties. It's ok...my beach vacation will have to wait till next year ^.^

2010-08-16T00:33:00.002+08:00

I wonder what has gone into me?? Feel so pathetic and lonely...where has everybody gone. Or rather...where have I left them? Got to find my way back to reality.

=)

All About...

2010-08-12T23:13:00.005+08:00

Suddenly today, I felt like eating sushi. The whole afternoon, I couldn't think of anything else but sushi!! I decided that my mind wouldn't be at peace until I got my sushi =P So, in order that I can concentrate my mind on studying and not on sushi, I went for dinner at Sushi Zanmai today. Finally, after half an hour of traffic jam and around 15 minutes of queueing up, I got my sushi!!!!! There's soft shell crab, scallops, tempura, unagi...and japanese steamboat!

Wahahahaha....I feel so satisfied now....although I realised that I just wasted one whole afternoon thinking about sushi *ish* After my lovely date with sushi, I came back home to see my friends discussing bout exam topics in fb! Omg...mental block...

We Are All Different ~

2010-08-02T23:38:00.002+08:00

Some people are born different...it's not that they wanted it, they just can't help it. We can't choose to look ugly or beautiful, to act nerdy or cool, to behave manly or girly...Some people are lucky to be born with good qualities, others are a bit unfortunate. I admire their courage for accepting themselves the way they are. Must have taken years to achieve that. I think that, if they can accept themselves, why can't we, the so-called 'normal' ones, accept them?

Stop judging, start loving ~

Peace!!

the apartment

2010-07-28T16:50:00.010+08:00

I went to this place called 'the apartment' yesterday as some friends had promised to treat my bf and me a meal (because the team they chose in World Cup lost, and my bf chose Spain...which is the WINNER!! kekeke). We decided to go to the apartment as I've heard many people complimenting the food there =)

A very rare picture of the two of us!! I realise that we don't take many pics together....most of the time it's because he hates taking pics >.< My face looks damn tired!!! Need to get more rest...

My cup of Macchiato *wink* It was funny cos when I ordered it, the waiter told me it's a small drink, which I already knew. But I guess it's their job to warn the customers that it's small? Anyway, I knew I'd be dead tired by the time I get home, so I ordered this cup of coffee so that my eyes will still be open for me to get home and prepare for my presentation. When my Macchiato came, I was kinda disappointed cos there was no pattern on it. So, my bf drew a smiley face on it with a straw! Lolz...so now my Macchiato has a smiley XDThese are supposed to be desserts, but it became starters for us. The one on the right was a coffee pudding and the left one was a banana cake. Both tasted great! My main dish: Lamb Rack. Hahahaha...wherever I go, I will never order chicken chop or steak cos I'll always go for the lamb!! Sometimes I think the lambs must have done something bad to me in my pastlife (if there really is one) that I have to love to eat lamb so much in this life...My bf's dish: T-bone Steak. I think it's taste was wonderful as there were some red wine in it. The price was wonderful too! Around RM54.90...but we didn't care much for the price cos we're not the ones paying for it anyway =P

This is how a T-bone steak looks like after all the meat is gone =) Cute?? Ooohh....the plate on top was a Spaghetti Bolognese which we all shared. It was the first dish to arrive so everyone was so hungry and started eating it before I even remembered to snap a picture of it.

Truth is, I was kind of disappointed with my Lamb Rack. Maybe I was expecting too much from the stuff I heard. Anyway, the rest of the food was good. Plus, I've never really learnt to fully appreciate Western food lolz. My favourites are still Chinese & Japanese food. Lately I fell in love with Korean food too...thanks to Yee Synn who taught me how eat Bi Bim Bap the correct way. Haha....I miss eating Korean food with her. Maybe after my test this friday, I'll call her out for Korean food!!! *drools*

Emo-ing

2010-07-14T07:46:00.002+08:00

Feeling sad.
Assignments are never-ending.
Test is around the corner and I haven't even started.
Some people joked about me.
Then my bf treated me like I'm invisible.
What did I do? I didn't do anything wrong =(
I need a break.
When will I stop caring so much about what others think of me?
I would be much happier that way...
I cried myself to sleep last night.
And I remembered my dream.
Is there something really wrong with a relationship without communication?
Caught in a dilemma~

Outing Day

2010-07-03T12:48:00.010+08:00

Went to Sunway Pyramid on Thursday...Just some pics I took while we were there =)

Having dinner at Pasta de Gohan! Deciding what to eat....hehehe...

My beverage: Hot green tea...lol.

Starters: Potato salad, garlic bread and japanese peas (forgot the name XD)

His set! It's beef burger! Although there's no burger...only beef and rice. A very thick piece of beef. And delicious too!

My set!! Salmon steak =PP

And this was how thick the salmon steak was....

I wanted to buy the heels I saw earlier, but even the smallest pair was too big for my 4 1/2 sized feet. Sigh...so in the end I bought another pair of heels from Blay, which was black. I hadn't have black heels for a long time since....4 years ago....haha. But I really love the red heels. Why are my feet so small? Aiks =P

He bought a shirt from SUB (RM35 only!!!) and while in SUB the song 'Nobody' was on, and a small little kid was dancing to the song! He looked so cute...haha...all the promoters and cashiers were laughing.

Well, that's all about my date =P Tonight is Germany vs Argentina!!! Yea...hope Germany wins! Hope Klose scores...!!

I don't want to be a nice person...

2010-06-24T17:13:00.004+08:00

I saw this facebook status by a friend today. I got me thinking, why would people want to be nice in the first place? To please others? To feel accepted? To make yourself feel good? Or just because it has been imprinted in your mind by your parents since young that you should be nice to others, without yourself even knowing why you should be nice?

I used to be nice to others just because I wanted others to like me, in other words, to please others. I hate the feeling of people not liking me, thus I go out of my way to do stuff for people, to the extent that I remember my friends used to call me "Angel". Cos I never get mad, and I have the highest EQ for my friends. Although I was happy that people liked me, I realised later in my life that sometimes, being too nice just to please people makes me unhappy. When you are nice, people tend to take advantage. When you never get angry, people tend to push the line and drive you to the verge of insanity with you still smiling and being nice like an idiot. When you ask your boyfriend to give your friend a lift back home, you later find out that your friend goes behind your back and asks your boyfriend out. So, in my conclusion, being nice always ends up being taken for granted, cheated, and betrayed. What's the point then?

I wished I wasn't born a soft and weak person like I am now. Sometimes I wish I was like my other friends. People who are stronger and are not afraid to voice out for themselves. Then again, a friend told me once that she hoped she was like me...soft and vulnerable, so that others would stop thinking that she is really that tough on the inside. To certain extents, I do agree with her. Some people do treat me nicer because I look vulnerable =) Thus upon listening to my friend's words, I started to realise that there are always pros and cons for all things.

Don't worry, I'm still a nice person. But I have stopped trying so hard to please others. I am so fed up of it now. What's the harm in being a bit more selfish and treating ourselves better? =)

2010-06-23T21:26:00.003+08:00

He knew I was unhappy today...so he bought me these:My favourite Portugese tart!! There were one more egg tart and one more Portugese tart, but I ate them. The other 2 are durian tarts...Just a small gesture, but it was sweet =)

Thanks, dear...

Joy

2010-06-19T23:12:00.004+08:00

Went to Joy's engagement party today...it was so fun =P Then they started talking bout how he would propose to me in the future. And Joy said she'll play a part in it by tricking me to go to Indah Water saying that he fell into the sewage. What the....it's not even romantic to be proposing beside the sewage la....aiks. Anyways, I'm feeling really happy for them =)

P.S. I can't stop thinking bout those red heels I saw at Charles & Keith...I want it!!!!! This time I'm not gonna care bout the price...I can only wear them when I'm young, and I'm not getting any younger >.< Plus, I desperately need new heels....lolz!

2010-06-14T17:06:00.003+08:00

I just climbed 20 flights of stairs to reach my house at the 20th floor!
I can't believe it!
This should be the first item in my List of Personal Achievements =P

He's Just Not That Into You

2010-06-08T19:35:00.004+08:00

Hey...I just finished watching this movie on my computer and I can't wait to blog about it!!
This was actually an old movie from last year or 2 years ago...It's actually quite nice. But I have to say...I HATE Scarlett Johanson's character in this movie. What a slut! Stealing other's people husband and justifying it with the excuse that maybe the guy's her true love and sleeping with her friend that she has no feelings with. By the way, the guy that played the adulterous husband, although he's really handsome (Bradley Cooper), is a jerk too. Apart from that, all the other couples in the movie had happy endings =) Especially Ben Affleck and Jennifer Aniston...I don't usually watch romantic movies but lately I've been watching a lot of them. I wonder why? So not like me...lolz. By the way, P.S. I Love You is a great movie too! I never knew Gerard Butler was so handsome heheh...

Blah Blah Blah....

2010-05-27T13:28:00.003+08:00

Hi!! I'll be on my way back to Ipoh soon...but I'm feeling damn sleepy...been up since 7am, and yesterday I slept at around 1am =/ I wonder if I can manage to stay awake in the highway...

Lately I've discovered something weird going on with a certain 'person' and a certain 'friend'....argh...it upsets me. I hope things will be back to normal soon. Guess I've been taking too many things for granted in the past. I hate those bitches! Can't they leave us alone? It's been bothering me for a while, making me feel so insecure now....haizzzz. But then, I might be wrong =) Let's hope that it's just a misunderstanding and not what I think it is.

I'm still trying my best to be kind and nice to everybody....I don't get it back in return sometimes, but I don't mind. At least I've tried =) Some people take advantage of this...Not that I don't feel sad and hurt when it happens, but what can I do? I'm a weak and kinda gullible person. I couldn't recognise a lie even if it's dancing naked in front of me. Sometimes I wish I'm smarter...but there are things that you can never change.

In the meantime, I have made up my mind to achieve some things:
1) Try my best to like the people and things that I dislike
2) Get rid of my bad, bad habits!!
3) Be generous with my Smile =DDD

Nothing much to write already...haha...
Have a nice day! ^^

The one about Movies...

2010-05-11T13:12:00.004+08:00

Last week I copied a lot of movies and series from my friend Calvin. One of them was a movie called 'Everybody's Fine'. Judging from the name of the movie, I figured it was those family comedy type of movies. Turns out I was correct...at least half-correct.

The movie starred Robert DeNiro, Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale and Sam Rockwell. It was a really great movie, but I was disappointed cos I expected myself to watch a fun, comedy movie but instead I ended up in tears for the most part of it. The movie was so sad and heart-wrenching! It pictures the reality of what that happens in most families....which is sad. Anyhow, it still had a pretty nice ending, hence the name, Everbody's Fine.

It tells the story of a father's journey all around the country to meet his children when his children were too busy to go home for a family weekend. And also his discoveries of the truth that his children hid from him...It would be perfect as a Christmas movie, or a Fathers' Day movie =)

2010-05-04T09:53:00.003+08:00

Am losing my enthusiasm to blog now...since when I go to my friends' blogs, I see the same post I saw 6 months ago *swt*

Anyway, I have finished my internship (finally!!). I never thought I would ever say this, but somehow I miss the working environment there, haha. Good to be back in Ipoh though, but it's incredibly hot here!!! I'm literally melting whenever I step out of the house in the afternoon. It always seems to be so hot whenever I come back. I don't remember Ipoh being so hot before I went to KL.

Met up with my bestie Chin Yee yesterday night...we chatted and chatted and she told me I gained a little weight. So sad la! Why do people keep telling me that when I'm trying all means to lose weight...Usually, I would've given up but not now...cos I really hate the feeling of being told I'm fat. I wanna go back to the slim self that I used to be years ago....before I met my bf....who started all these....since then I was never slim....aiks. Can't blame him...I have only myself and my aging body plus decreasing metabolic rate to blame =P

Last note to myself and others: Must persevere!!!!! Must suceed!!!!!
Hope that one day people will look at me and say," Hey, how come you are so slim now?"
Wakakakakaka....

*swt* (again)

2010-04-08T22:17:00.003+08:00

I used to lash out my anger to my family and bf (never did that to my friends before)...now I got the feeling of how it's like to be the victim! It felt quite horrible and upsetting at first but I can understand why that person did it to me and I don't blame her cos I do that too sometimes. Another reason is that maybe I'm just really too dumb that her nerve got stretched to the max. So next time I should really think bout others' feelings before I start raising my voice. But there's nothing I can really do bout my stupidity....so sorry guys if I tested your patience just a bit too much.

On a lazy Sunday afternoon...

2010-03-28T15:33:00.002+08:00

It's SUNDAY afternoon!! And I'm blogging with my favourite music on...Life never felt so good...hehe...I've always loved this kind of feeling. Most people will be out shopping or going for movies on weekends like these...but I really prefer staying at home, away from the jam, away from the crowd, away from the heat!

Actually I have nothing to blog about in particular....just thought of doing sthg...before I start my 'Friends' marathon. I've got Season 1 to 4 right now....hehe. I prefer this type of comedy instead of those super suspense dramas they have right now like Desperate Housewives, Lost, Prison Break etc etc. I used to be a big fan of those shows, but eventually I got really fed up with all the suspense. Very tension la...why do I need to be so tensed up when watching dramas are supposed to be an entertainment? Life is already stressful enough...

I'm having some mild soar throat and suspected indigestion right now...this is the consequence of eating a tower of fried onions for lunch in Tony Roma's. The thing's called Onion Loaf...looks attractive and tastes great...but it costed me RM12.90....for a whole plate of onions!! Never gonna eat that again although it tastes good. But then again, this is the price I should expect from Tony Roma's. I've made a mental note to just buy a bun from BreadStory next time my friend proposes to eat at Tony Roma's =P

HOME

2010-03-22T20:04:00.002+08:00

Was already feeling the monday blues on Sunday night. This morning, the alarm clock went off at 6.30am, mercilessly dragging me away from my blissful sleep. At that time, I thought to myself:

"urghh...have to wake up and boil water for Milo again."

Then a second thought occured to me:

"Ohhh...I forgot that Mum always gets breakfast ready for me every morning. Yay...I don't have to make my own breakfast today so I can sleep a while more!"

After the umpteenth time of snoozing the alarm, I finally managed to drag my head away from the pillow, only to realise that Mum is not here in KL to make breakfast for me. All of a sudden, I missed the sound of my mum busying herself away in the kitchen every morning, accompanied by the music from Lite & Easy and the sound of the spoon clanking against the cups when she's mixing Milo...

I MISS HOME!!!!!

Mum and Dad must be feeling lonely living in that house that once was filled with shouts & laughter of the 3 of us. Maybe I'll go back this weekend! hehe...

2010-03-19T22:58:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I do wonder, what was I thinking when I was young?
Why did I waste so much time?
All my friends are working now...and I still have one year to go
Wish I could finish my studies faster
So that I can join them and stop feeling like a failure!!

One of my best friend's getting married next year....
Wish her all the happiness in the world!!
If she's reading this, I would like to ask her...

WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO BE THE BRIDESMAID HUH??

*bluek*

2010-02-20T11:06:00.006+08:00

Setelah sekian lama....I have finally decided to update my blog.

This time, I'm posting up some old pics!

This was me during Form 6 a few years ago...

Skinny, right?

This was me one year later after Form 6...

Still skinny, right?

This is me NOW...3 years later...

Sad to see so much FAT all over me now...I wanna go back to the Form 6 me!!!

Hope my plans will succeed lah....hehehehe XD

Holiday ~~

2010-01-31T12:14:00.002+08:00

Since the exams have FINALLY ended, I have more time for myself now. Feels really good to be back in Ipoh =) I'm actually not much of a family person, but I've started to miss my parents in Ipoh quite often now. Sometimes I wished I could stay longer >.<

Went to church with my family yesterday, and left with a lighter heart =)

I was burdened with unnecessary worries and a slight tinge of unhappiness due to some people's criticisms. I even had nightmares about them and ended up in a gloomy mood for the next day. Hmm...now I've learnt to LET GO. Cos...criticisms are meant to make us a better person. Of course, we all know this, but it's easier said than done. Especially when the ones that criticise does it behind your back with the intention to hurt you. And they try to spoil your name in front of the persons you care most about. It left me feeling unhappy for 4 months.

At least I've learnt something from it...Do my part perfectly that it leaves no room for criticism from others. Also, no matter where the criticisms come from, be it from your friend or your enemy, it is actually a sign that we are not doing good enough.

"learn from yesterday. live for today. hope for tomorrow"

2010-01-13T07:39:00.002+08:00

read a blog condemning us for using the 'their' word....*sad*. And they blame us for defending ourselves...making us responsible for causing chaos in the country. When will people wake up from this kind of thinking? I wonder if the country will turn into another Indonesia one day...

Burn burn burn....

2010-01-09T10:24:00.004+08:00

Just got news of a burning of a Catholic Church in Desa Melawati....(kinda outdated cos never really read newspapers). Felt disappointed that some people hate us Christians so much. Why? We never do anything to offend others...we're just trying to defend ourselves and whatever rights that belong to us. Some time last year there were these people that threw a bull's (or cow's) head into a Hindu temple. I thought multiracial community living in harmony was supposed to be a slogan for our tourism campaign? Such acts are a disgrace to our own country!

Looking at these issues from the moral point of view, I remember we started studying Pendidikan Moral from Standard 1 until Form 5....and in SPM we had to memorize all those 16 or 18 nilai-nilai moral. What's the use of all those years of moral education when people do not even understand the fundamental principle of respect? Isn't this a sign of failure of our so-called education system?

I know, every country has their own problems, and we shouldn't be complaining too much, but when these things happen, something should be done to ensure that it never happens again. Somehow, this common sense does not strike our party leaders which has just started yet another political dispute over this issue by claiming it's the other party's fault. *sien*

2009-12-15T21:41:00.004+08:00

was really sad+angry+frustrated like, 3 hours ago.
suddenly i realised that...
Life's really too short to be wasted like this
besides, I don't wanna scare everyone away *sigh*
So...I've decided to let go,
and SMILE =)
sometimes it's just a fine line between frustration & happiness
glad I realised it before I kill a few more thousand brain cells...
and grow old faster...
DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY!!!
Have a good day ^^

14 year old raped by FIVE

2009-12-12T10:22:00.003+08:00

I read about this incident in the newspapers yesterday...To be honest, I felt rather shocked. Reason being, the five that raped the 14 year old girl were all 14 year olds, except one 17 year old. And they did it in a karaoke centre, and it was the first time for some to go to these places. Their parents claimed that they were 'good students' as in....they got good results in school.

It happened in Ipoh!! I can almost guess which karaoke centre it was, since there are not many in Ipoh which teenagers will go. It just sounds scary. I don't understand what's getting wrong with the society. It seems that the phenomena is just getting from bad to worse. I've read about all these incidents many many times....some even happened to grown up women. The other day my friend told me there was a student who got cheated by a bomoh which told her she need to have sex with him to 'purify' herself and get rid of her bad luck. I don't understand, why did people even believe in these things nowadays? In the end she got cheated and the bomoh kept asking her to continue it because he had her nude pics. What I have to say is...STOP BEING SO NAIVE!! (I personally feel that those Taiwan dramas have a role to play in causing our girls to become so naive...by making them think that bad boys are romantic, which is just ---> *lame*)

2009-12-01T17:05:00.002+08:00

Something happened today, which made me think...

Why on earth did God create those insensitive, ignorant, irresponsible, egoistic creatures called MEN???

*sigh* I'm not here to criticise...Just that...some of the things they do...
Leaves me really exasperated...
If you are a guy, and you feel that my statement does not apply to you, CONGRATULATIONS!!
You are one of the creatures on the brink of extinction!
No offence, but this is just what I think, it may not be a fact =)

Melaka ~~

2009-11-23T00:43:00.010+08:00

Went to Melaka on Friday for my cousin's wedding =)

Then me and my sis discovered A Famosa on our way back, so we stopped by to snap some pictures ^^

Was almost 10pm when we started our journey back to KL and reached at midnight. What a fun but exhausting and short holiday! Time to face the reality - 3 tests and assignments need to be handed in in the next few weeks. Did I mention I'm going to Melaka again this weekend? *bluek*

Can I manage to revise in time? Hope I don't screw it this semester...

Stereoptypes...

2009-11-22T01:38:00.004+08:00

When you see or hear the word SECRETARY, what picture comes to your mind? I'm sure 9 out of 10 people will automatically have an image of a short skirted, curly haired, slutty dressed, heavily made up female flash through their minds...

SO THIS IS WHAT WE CALL STEREOTYPE

Whenever some relatives ask me what course I am studying, I'll just answer Business Management instead of ICSA because if I say ICSA people will ask what's that and I'll have to tell them it's a Company Secretary and when I say that, they'll just ignore the word 'Company' and place all the focus on 'Secretary'. They seem to have difficulty connecting those two words together...and when they hear the word 'Secretary', their face immediately changes into a knowing, or rather, an awkward expression =.=" Apparently, secretary is some sort of a disgraceful profession, and the stereotype is strenghtened by those stupid movies showing secretaries having affairs with their bosses!

It makes me feel bad...!!!
Because I'm not going to be a secretary...not a personal secretary but a company secretary!
Why can't people understand that??
Besides, not ALL secretaries sit on their boss's lap...there are decent secretaries too!
Why can't they just change the position's name into a less ambiguous one?
CHANGE THE NAME!!!!!
Damn those secretaries that caused this stereotype.
I'm fed up with explaining to everyone what I'm doing right now =.=

2009-11-02T23:38:00.002+08:00

The reason I'm writing this blog is...I have the need to SCREAAAMM.....because I'm so tension n stressed....Already tension when I try to do the cash flow statement which ended up with a very ridiculous answer, then to release tension I went to play the facebook card game and ended up losing till bankrupt, causing me more and more mental stress. Arrghh...I NEED TO STOP PLAYING THAT GAME. But I just can't stop myself! Someone help me please!

I have to admit...when I read other people's blog, I get the feeling that my blog is really shallow. I wonder how I can be like them and see more 'depth' and meaning in the small little things that happen around us. The truth is, I believe it's a waste of brain power trying to be 'deep' so...I need to play more games to stop myself going haywire with tension.

Okay I have decided to play a more stress-less game...PLANTS VS ZOMBIES here I come!!! ^^

Taking a break...

2009-10-27T21:23:00.004+08:00

I wanted to study FA (financial accounting) but when I looked at the theory part, I started to experience mild headache. When I looked at the tutorial questions, I thought I'm having migraine...hehe...that's a bit exagerrated i think. In the end I gave up trying and came here to blog instead =P (Those tutorials can wait till tomorrow) This morning I already had headache due to FA again. I think my brain can only stand 2 hours of FA per day...

Something to relax the mind...p/s I'm a great fan of Calvin & Hobbes =P

Stupidity

2009-10-14T22:18:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a really stupid person. Why do I say like that? Hmm...I've done alot of silly and stupid things in my life and when I think back of what I did, I start to marvel at the degree of my stupidity at that time. I guess I lack a lot of common sense >.<

An example of a silly act:
The other day I was driving back home and there was a road block on the street. The police were checking the cars. When it was my turn I stopped and without waiting for the police's signal to go, I accelerated and was about to leave when the police ran and knocked on the car for me to stop. Then he asked me 'Didn't you see me? Did I tell you to leave?' I knew I was about to land myself in some trouble so I said sorry...the silly act may have caused him to suspect me of committing any crime (because I tried to run away at the road block), and because I looked too young for my age, he asked for my license. And he double checked on the picture on my license and looked carefully at my face to see if it matched the picture. Then he asked me whether I'm married. I answered 'No', then he asked me again when I am going to get married (weird question for a police interrogation???) I got bewildered and answered 'I don't know', and his response was 'You don't know?????'. As if I would know exactly when I'm getting married *duh*Anyway, after that he failed to find any problem with my license or car, so he let me go.
After I reached home, I told my bf about this incident and his first comment was 'So stupid la you...'

The other day I was chatting with my friend, and she told me about 2 categories of people i.e. book smarts and street smarts. Suddenly it occured to me that I may be one of the book smarts, in other words, those that only score well in exams but cannot survive in the real world. How I wish I have a better brain! Sometimes I feel anxious of what will happen to me if I go out to work in the future. I hope I don't create any huge blunders and make a mess of everything.

"Professionals"

2009-10-13T21:19:00.007+08:00

During my holidays, my dad had to go to the general hospital for a biopsy. The doctors wanted to extract some muscles from his leg to determine the cause of his walking difficulties (my dad has some problems in walking and balancing himself). The appointment was scheduled on Friday, 25th September, 8 am. So on that day, we woke up (with much difficulty on my part) at 6.45am and went to the hospital at around 7.30am. We reached there and waited for about half an hour, and a nurse came to tell us that the appointment was cancelled earlier due to Hari Raya celebrations and the staff are mostly on leave. We said no one informed us about that, and they said they tried to call us but no one answered. When we checked the number they called, it wasn't our number. So we thought to ourselves, 'Never mind...' and arranged for another appointment which is on the next Friday, 2nd Oct.

On 2nd Oct, we brought my dad there again for the biopsy. This time, there were many people waiting for their turn so we just waited along with them. My mum helped my dad change clothes and waited again. Luckily I brought my novel along, which kept me occupied for the whole waiting process that lasted 4 hours. Then, the nurses pushed my dad into the operation theatre on a wheelchair. He was inside for about 30 minutes. When my dad came out, we thought the operation was over BUT he just asked to come out to go to the toilet. After that, we waited again. Then a surgeon came over to my dad and told him that the operation cannot be conducted today because the extracted muscles must be delivered to the KL hospital within 4 hours or else the tissues will die, and they did not book an ambulance to deliver it on that day. Without the ambulance, the tissues can't be delivered, so there would be no point in conducting the operation. In the end, we had to leave without anything being done except waiting in vain for 4 hours. The nurses arranged another appointment with my dad again.

After this incident, I have truly experienced the inefficiency of government departments and hospitals. I guess they think we citizens have too much free time and energy to waste, so they make it their primary objective to facilitate the wasting of our time and resources. It may be forgiven if they make the mistake once, but making it twice is really quite frustrating for us. What if this incident happened to a person living in those small towns like Parit or Beruas? Imagine having to travel all the way to Ipoh and wait there the whole morning just to be informed that the staff had made a mistake and you have to take the trouble of travelling here another day. Sometimes it makes me wonder whether they are really professionals, or maybe they are "professional unprofessionals" (people that are professional in being 'unprofessional') =P

A Lesson Learned

2009-09-14T22:10:00.003+08:00

Last night was the longest night I had to endure. I went to bed at around 1am because there's going to be an exam the next day. I tossed & turned in my bed unable to sleep, then I started to feel hungry. The hunger turned into stomach ache, which eventually became gastric. To curb my hunger, I did the wrongest thing - I drank a cup of Milo (because I thought a cup of milk would help me sleep better). What it did was not to help me sleep better but to help me not to sleep at all. The pain in my stomach was excruciating! I couldn't sleep the whole night plus I was feeling nauseous but I didn't want to go to toilet because I knew if I went, I'd definitely vomit. In the end, I 'tahan' until 4 something until I can't tahan anymore. I rushed to the toilet and vomitted all the Milo out...then I went back thinking that I may get some proper sleep now that I've vomitted. However the pain did not subside...I tried all kinds of sleeping positions that can reduce the pain, but it didn't work. At 5am something I went and vomit again. Turns out there was some Milo left that I didn't vomit out the first time. So this time, I really thought I could sleep because I've vomitted everything out but NO...the gastric pain really wouldn't let me go. I thought to myself 'Giving birth would be less painful than this!' The pain continued to torture me throughout the night until 6.30 am I went to toilet and had diarrhoea and vomitted at the same time (nothing came out, but I kept vomitting anyway). By the time I finished, my whole body was covered in cold sweat. So it was the most horrible feeling ever...and to think that I have an exam at 9am! I started to wonder if I'd vomit in the exam hall too. Then I called my mum and asked her what can I do? She told me to see a doctor as soon as possible since it's already 7am that time. I went to the Hospital Danau Kota nearby, suffering from those horrible pains in the stomach every few minutes. The doctor gave me an injection and told me that I'm the 8th gastric pain case he'd encountered since last week. It was the first time I had injection on my butt! haha...

After that, I did some brief (very brief) revision in the car and headed to college for my exam, deprived of sleep for the night before and feeling kinda blur. I wondered if I could remember the stuff that I studied, or if my brain could function at all. After the injection I felt very, very much better. Before the exam started, I took some medicine which the doctor prescribed. Luckily, my brain was surprisingly alert during the exam and functioned normally. The gastric pain came once in a while but I ignored it by focusing my mind on answering the questions instead. Anyway I was grateful because the sickness did not affect my exam.

Right now I'm feeling better but I'll still get the stomach aches every time after meals, so I have to take those medicines immediately after eating to stop the pain. 2 days later, I'd be sitting for my last paper -Financial Accounting *faints* Really hope I'll recover soon...I think it'll take a few more days to recover. Regretting skipping meals and not eating properly. My sis says I might see a hole in my stomach if I had x-ray. My advice: Please take care of your stomach or else you'll end up regretting like me!

Morning =))

2009-09-10T09:32:00.002+08:00

This morning, as usual, I was surfing the net while having my breakfast (a cup of Milo + oats) and after looking at those posts in Facebook, I decided to have a look at my blog, since it's been a long time since I logged in here. Guess what, I got such a huge shock when I saw the Visitor Counter...cos it says 11895!!! The last time I was here it just showed 800+ and I only disappeared from here for 2 weeks the most. Hahah...I dunno if it's because there's something wrong with the counter or 11000 people suddenly flocked in to visit my blog =P Hmm...*wondering* but I gotta sign off now, cos I need to continue with my revision. I've been telling people my exam is coming since last month...Why does it never seem to end? 2 more papers to go...I wanna go back to Ipoh ='( I wanna eat the laksa at the pasar malam, eat the porridge near my house, eat the chicken hor fun in pasir pinji, eat the dim sum, eat the lamb chop *eurgh*...i miss the food so much >.< Just wish that the exams will end faster so that I can go back & enjoy the food! haha!

i am glad to be ME because...

2009-08-31T22:55:00.020+08:00

hehe...yeah I'm blogging again =P Online-ing has become increasingly boring lately. Today I'm going to pay tribute to all the things that made my life beautiful and pleasant =)

My Family...

I'm sorry cos I can't find a pic of my family right now...So I guess this will do for now lolz. I believe that a person's character & life is very deeply influenced by his or her family background. I'm glad that I have a loving family which shaped me into what I am today.

My Honey...

Erm...I dunno what to say about him. Just that, I always think of him as God's best gift for me, apart from my family. Thanks for all the support, care, patience & love that you gave me these few years. Although we quarrel alot but, you made my life a lot more colourful =)

My Friends...

I like this pic very much cos it has my besties in it!! Actually, one more is missing (sorry yee-synn cos I can't find a pic with all 4 of us) My appreciation also extends to all the other friends whom I have met in my 23 years of life. It's quite impossible to put the pics of all my friends here. I'm really grateful cos I have great, caring, helpful, true friends. We might not realise it, but sometimes we take our friends for granted. We view it as something that we can get easily, but actually, having friends is a privilege that some are unable to enjoy...due to many factors. So...thanks again for being my friend ^^

And most importantly, I thank God for giving me all these ^^ To anyone reading this...Please appreciate your life and do not take the people around you for granted. Have a nice day!

Movie Day...

2009-08-27T01:46:00.003+08:00

Another blog entry within 2 or 3 days! Why do I blog so often now? I should be concentrating on studying for exam >.< I've been living like there's no exam coming...when in actual fact my exam will be starting next week. I've been going for more movies than ever (every wednesday is movie day now)...I don't even go for movies so often even during holidays! 2 wednesdays ago I watched the Louis Koo movie, then last week I watched Aliens In The Attic, today I watched Up...in 3D =P The storyline was rather touching. Especially the loneliness of the old man...lost & wondering what's his purpose on living after his wife passed away. Sad...but that's reality. One day we all have to deal with it. Another part that touched me was when he looked at his wife's adventure book, finally realising that their whole life was an adventure by itself. This is so true! We always get blinded by what we're chasing after, and we do not learn to appreciate the moment that we're living in. Even though this movie is an animation, but it brings out alot of messages which applies to everyone. This time, the main character is an old man & not the usual kids or animals as we always see in Disney & Pixar animation movies. I really like this movie =)) Thumbs up for UP! hehe

Another Negative One

2009-08-21T17:48:00.004+08:00

I dunno why but everything seems to be a source of annoyance to me right now. It's making me unhappy...I should be more tolerant to others but these small little things...an unconscious action, a careless slip of word (or maybe not-so-careless slip of words) THEY ALL ANNOY ME. I hate it when ppl show off around me...I hate it when their ego gets the better of them...I hate it when ppl blame me for something else. Why ask my opinion and use it if you don't trust me? And then you blame me when the opinion is rejected. I'm feeling so unappreciated for the stuff I did. Now I have to constantly remind myself of the presence of God within me so I can give myself some peace of mind. Next time, I'll just try my best to avoid it.

I'm so sorry if all my blog entries sound so negative...cos I don't blog when I'm happy; I only blog when I'm not. I'll try to share my joy in this place next time around. I hope the readers don't get affected by my negativeness. I'll try my best to remind myself to blog when I'm cheerful & happy & contented ^^

p/s I miss my besties so much...I wish I could tell them all these! Anyway I'm gonna meet them tomorrow. Can't wait! =P

Mars vs Venus, Dreams & the Afterlife

2009-08-18T23:18:00.004+08:00

Lately my life's been overwhelmed by stress, stress, and more stress!!! Finals is coming and I'm still slacking around...playing computer games and chatting all the time =( I dunno what will happen to my results this semester?

Anyway...I'm really wondering why is it so hard to understand men? Since men and women are from the same species (i.e. both humans) why can't they understand each other? I'm getting fed up of all the quarrelling & fighting. *sigh* It didn't used to be so frequent. I wonder how my future will be like...

I'm starting to have weird dreams lately...Some I don't remember but I just know those dreams are weird. Just this morning I had a horrible dream. I dreamt that my mum committed suicide in front of me...in such a horrible way that when I told my bf, he asked me whether I watched too much Final Destination movies. Is it because of the stress? I remember crying in the dream, & I woke up realising how much I have taken my mum for granted & if I were to lose my mum in reality my heart would be broken.

Besides those dreams, many thoughts are also coming to my mind. Sometimes I wonder how it feels like to die. And I wonder if I'll be in heaven or hell? Most probably hell although it's not my favourite place to spend eternity. I hope I can go to heaven...I'm sure my parents will be there...but I don't think I deserve to be there >.< And I start thinking of how my life would end. Will it end horribly (like those in Final Destinations...head broken, brain splattered all over the place, broken bones, decapitated etc) or will I die peacefully in my sleep? It makes me realise how much I actually fear death. What will I see after death? Is it true that my soul will still be around...Will I still know who I am? So many uncertainties...so insecure...

Wow...this post is so random that the topics do not relate to each other at all. haha...btw, who cares...it's my blog so I can write anything I like. Hope the readers don't feel confused...it's just a summary of my thoughts. So now you know that I have so many things on my mind =)

21 Guns

2009-08-11T23:22:00.002+08:00

I heard this song over the radio one day...and I fell in love with it!! Later I found out that it was included in the Transformers 2 soundtrack =) Just like the song, the lyrics are just as beautiful and meaningful...

Do you know what's worth fighting for
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weight out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Does someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky
You and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky
You and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky
You and I

Convocation Day =)

2009-07-26T01:06:00.002+08:00

Today was the BIG DAY. Hehe...not my convo la...my friends' convo...cos I didn't join. My wallet's hole got too big till I couldn't even get the money to attend it =P So I just went there to congratulate them & to join in the fun. It was a happy day...there were so many flower stalls in front of the college! I bought a small little Pooh for Mike cos his parents weren't coming. He was so happy!! It's funny how a small little gesture could make someone so happy...I'm just glad that I could spread some joy to the people around me. However, just like all the other convos, it was smeltering HOT and everyone was sweating to the brink of getting a heat stroke =P Thank goodness I brought my umbrella! haha...Nonetheless, it was a happy and joyful day for all of us with Doris getting the most flowers =D Congrats again to all my friends!!!

Rainbow ^^

2009-07-20T21:32:00.002+08:00

This post is a continuation of my previous post...
We talked things over (more like shouting over the phone) and got everything sorted out. So everything's okay now =P Funny isn't it? Yeah...you can go ahead and laugh. Cos I think it's funny too. Anyway, communication is VERY important in every relationship. But why we is it that we only communicate when it's almost too late? *sigh*

Another Revelation...

2009-07-19T23:06:00.003+08:00

Once upon a time when I was so fresh & naive, I actually believed in fairytales. Life has been such a cruel bitch (or bastard) that it had to shatter the beautiful dreams and fantasies of a girl like me. Well...I wish I hadn't grew up so fast...I wish I could forever remain a kid...I wish I hadn't have to deal with the harsh realities of LIFE.

Approximately 3 years ago...I thought I had met 'The One' when I got to know him. I thought he was God's gift to heal my broken, shattered-to-pieces heart (with compliments from the ex). I thought he'll be the one that I will spend my life with. OMG...could I be more shallow? Well, he was close to being perfect in the first 2 years. Now I'm starting to realise that, Time will definitely reveal the true nature of a person. All the things he seemed to resemble in the past seems to be overthrown by what he really is now. I can see that what I thought he is in the past, is actually a facade which, over time, will gradually fade away to reveal his true colours. Colours that I didn't like. Everything that I used to love him for, has become the sources of irritation & annoyance to me. Not until now do I know that, love alone is not enough to accomodate all the other things that comes together with him...his values, his beliefs, his perspectives, his likeness, his family, and most of all, his addiction to the computer games! I thought I could live with that, but right now I'm close to bursting from exasperation. I guess I can't deal with it anymore. Maybe it's time to resolve this once and for all. I just hope that I have the determination to go through it because everytime I try, it fails.

*sigh*
.......
....
..

=(

2009-07-16T23:50:00.002+08:00

*sigh* something made my honey very sad today...it pains me to see him so sad and it makes me feel worse knowing there's nothing I can do to help him. I wish I have the ability to make people forget their problems so that I can see his happy face again!

Spectacless?? NOOOOO...

2009-07-09T23:50:00.003+08:00

Lately I'm feeling abit dizzy when I'm looking at the whiteboard, or when I'm trying to read small letters on signboards. I used to be able to read those tiny little words without breaking a sweat! Omg...am I getting short-sightedness?? Is this a result of watching movies with the lights off at night? Or a result of staring at the lappie for hours non-stop? The other day I was just bragging bout my good eyesight to my friends lol...This is proof that we shouldn't brag. Maybe I'll go and check my eyes some day. I'm pretty sure there's some degree of short-sightedness. Maybe just a little bit. I hope it won't deteriorate! I'll watch movies with the lights on from now on..I promise=(

The root of Evil

2009-07-06T23:38:00.004+08:00

We've watched dramas about families turning their back against each other because of money and greed. I know it happens in real life too...all the court cases we read about in the papers is evidence that these things happen in reality. However, reading about them and watching them in TV is one thing; having it happen to the people around u is another thing.

What if your brother is asking you to be his accomplice in cheating your parents' money, just because he wants to satisfy his greedy wife? (not my brother, it's just an example) Imagine your parents working so hard to bring you up, never stopped loving and caring for you, just to end up getting all their money cheated by their own son. This is so sad =( And yet it's really happening!! I really cannot comprehend what the son is thinking. How can he do such a thing to his parents?? Is the wife more important than his own parents that brought him up with such difficulty? All his life, he has depended on his parents...he did not even use his own money to marry his wife - his parents paid for the marriage expenses. And now, he's thinking of cheating RM15k from his parents, because his wife wants him to do so! Those are their hard-earned money...a result from umpteen years of hard work and saving. What is wrong with people nowadays? I hope he believes in karma, because what goes around, comes around.

I can't say that I'm a saint, but I will never, NEVER cheat my parents' money. Even if it means that I have to sleep on the streets. Just put yourself in your parents' shoes...how would YOU feel if your beloved children did this to you? I think my heart will be bleeding as if someone has shredded it into pieces. I hope my children (if I will have any) will not do this to me =( I don't want to end up abandoned in the streets begging for money when I'm old...

Broke!!

2009-07-01T22:00:00.004+08:00

I feel like writing a blog...but I dunno what to write ahahaha...Maybe this time I'll just write about what I did today =P

This morning I woke up feeling great cos class is at 12 noon and I can roll around on my bed for as long as I want before getting up. The night before I planned to wake up early and do some studying for the law subject but ended up facebooking till 11.30am. Hahah...

Went to class...the lecturer was rushing over the topics like nobody's business! My concentration span worn out within the first hour...and I was so hungry cos I forgot to eat lunch =( After the class finished I went to withdraw whatever remains of my banking account cos I needed to buy some NuSkin products for my sis! Guess what...there's only RM80+ in my bank account right now. I am so broke! And I still need to get the money to pay the MAICSA for their RM450 membership fee PLUS the JPJ summon I got yesterday ='(

Went to Ampang Park to buy the NuSkin products and stopped by Jusco to buy some ingredients for my cooking =P I cooked spaghetti today! hehehe...Not to say it tasted awesome but there's definitely some improvement. Here's the pic as proof:

In case you're wondering...those are sausages. hehe...I know it doesn't look very tempting, but the sausages were delicious. It's hard to see in the pic but there were tomatoes too. Actually I thought the whole thing tasted great (cos I cooked it myself =P) Anyway, there's more room for improvement and I still have alot of spaghetti left for me to experiment on!

No Idea

2009-06-30T01:04:00.004+08:00

Ignore the blog title cos I've no idea what phrase can sum up this blog entry. I'm undergoing some immense STRESS right now!!!

Actually, it's not as bad as I make it sound. haha...I'm just going to have a small coursework test on Financial Accounting tomorrow. Plus I've almost finished studying...just not in detail and I'm worried I'll forget. But a friend just told me this morning that our tutor's answers for some of the tutorial questions are WRONG. Another weird tutor we got is our English tutor, which, for most of the time, seems to have misplaced everything and conveniently dunno where to find it. So most of the tutorial time is spent on looking for her 'misplaced' items, which happens to be our notes!! Did I mention that she doesn't seem to know our syllabus and how the courseworks should be conducted even though it's already Week 6 and other groups have finished 1 or 2 courseworks by now? SHIT...what am I going to do for this semester? What will happen to my scholarship...arrghhh...

Drag Me To HELL

2009-06-23T00:58:00.005+08:00

I watched Drag Me To Hell yesterday. Gosh it was really scary...but the sound effects played a great role in scaring ppl. Without it, I think the movie would not be scary at all...haha...During the movie, I found myself regretting for entering that cinema lolz. Actually, I was the one that 'dragged' my bf to watch with me =P

Actually, I thought the front part of the movie was quite illogic. The movie started with 2 parents bringing their boy to a medium cos the boy was cursed by the gypsies. They put the curse of Lamia on him, where for 3 days the demon goat Lamia will terrorise and torment its victim and after that, drag the victim to hell to burn for eternity. A fate worse than death. Question was why did they curse him? Because he stole a necklace from them. I started wondering...did the gypsies have to put such a horrible curse on a little boy just because he stole a necklace from them? It wasn't such a horrible crime after all...But apart from that, the rest of the story was good. I actually sympathise the lead actress for her ending...after all, she just wanted to be recognised by her boss and her bf's parents for her hard work. The morale of the story is, NEVER PISS OFF WEIRD OLD LADIES =P

After watching that movie, I began to wonder if people will actually end up in hell. Being a Christian (Catholic, to be exact), I was told that we will go to hell on the judgement day if we sinned. I don't know to what extent we have to sin to earn a place in hell. But I'm quite sure I don't want to know what it's like to be in hell~!

P/S I'm so happy cos my visitor counter doubled in 2 days! I didn't know that people actually read my blog lolz. I started the counter two days ago with an initial count of 20. Well, thanks for visiting my blog =)

25 stuff bout me...

2009-06-20T02:22:00.004+08:00

Firstly, I had to apologize to mei yen coz i only opened my blog today after weeks of abscence! Really sorry! Mei yen tagged me, so here are 25 random things bout myself =)

1) I ate newspapers when I was young =P Young in terms of when I'm still a baby (around 2 - 3 yrs old) and my bro & sis are still teasing me bout tat incident. My mum had to make me vomit it out afterwards.

2) I'm extremely quiet during family gatherings, but the opposite when I'm with my friends.

3) I love to complain...and my complaints are usually bout insignificant stuff...but recently I'm cutting down on it, cos I realise (FINALLY!) that I'm actually a very lucky girl =P

4) When I was in standard 2, my teacher scolded me because she saw me eat my friend's noodles. Truth is, my friend gave it to me...but since those noodles were sponsored by the school for less fortunate students, my teacher saw it as an immoral act, and I was accused of 'stealing' my friend's bowl of noodles. I felt so angry towards that teacher cos my friend gave me those noodles because she didn't want to eat it! Besides, I still remember she had other food to eat.

5) Although it's not very obvious, but I do possess some of the qualities of a Scorpio...possessive, jealous & revengeful. But I never really take revenge on people...most of the time I just think bout it and later forget bout it.

6) I dislike second hand smoke...I'll get difficulty in breathing when someone's smoking around me.

7) I love to play computer games...especially mini games in facebook. What makes me so addictive is the motivation to climb above the scores of my friends. Once I'm at the top, I get satisfied and lose interest in playing the game. So actually, I'm quite a competitive person too.

8) My favourite food is SUSHI. I simply love Japanese food! Maybe bcos I love seafood in the first place...so I don't mind eating partially raw food.

9) My bro & sis used to bully me alot when I was young. They said it's because I'm the youngest so they feel that my parents love me more and the fact that I'm quite 'manja' makes them hate me more. So, their main hobby at that time is to devise new ideas to bully me & make me cry. My childhood could be described as an unhappy one & I used to envy my other friends who had better siblings.

10) When I was young, me, my bro & sis were playing outside the house when a dog started to chase us...Being the elder ones, my bro & sis could run faster and thus reached home faster. Me being the youngest one with shorter legs was left behind and they locked me outside with the dog. Fortunately, the dog didn't bite me...it just barked and ran around beside me but that was enough to scare the shit out of me.

11) I almost drowned in a water theme park and was reluctant to play in those water parks ever since.

12) I have an obsession towards shoes...I just can't resist shoes...but I already have 10+ pairs of them so I can't buy any more.

13) The creature that I hate, detest and afraid of most are SPIDERS. They really, really freak me out. When there's a spider near my bed, I'd rather not sleep for the whole night. They are really freakingly gross creatures...

14) When I drink alcohol, my face turns red. Not because I'm drunk, but because I have good blood circulation =P When my face is red, it doesn't mean I'm drunk...don't misunderstand!

15) I dislike sports...except for sit ups which I do every night

16) I love reading novels. My favourite genre of novels is historical fiction.

17) My ambition when I was 7 is to be a teacher. When I was 15, I wanted to be a pianist. At 17, I wanted to be a psychologist. Now, I want to be a company secretary (provided that I pass my ICSA first)

18) I had a huge crush on Chester Bennignton of Linkin Park when I was 16. Me & my friends used to 'modify' their songs into our own crazy version...which was hilarious. I missed those times we had =)

19) I'm a fan of classical music...they are the best music in the world! And I don't really like the hip hop, r&b music nowadays cos they make no sense at all...the only meaning they have in those lyrics are related to sex & violence, and they sound so perverted when they sing or rap out those songs. I feel that those are not real musicians...Real musicians should be like Mozart, Beethoven, Vivaldi, Chopin etc. Their music are superb!

20) My biggest fear is to be alone. Loneliness can kill me. I was once depressed during my teens because of loneliness...I thought the whole world had forsaken me and I felt like nobody cared even if I died. Later on I found out that I was the one who had shut myself from the world. Conclusion is, I must never keep unhappy thoughts to myself bcos it will lead to something worse.

21) My weakness is that I'm too gullible. My mind works in a straight line. Anyone can cheat me, even a 5 year old kid. I try my best to learn from my mistakes but after a while, I forget to be vigilant and fall prey to someone else's lies again. Quite stupid, right?

22) I have the tendency to lie in order to keep my loved ones from hurt and disappointment. I have done things that, if found out by them, will cause them great disappointment. I often lie to avoid these situations...even though it's against my will to lie to them. But I can't stop myself from doing those things that hurt them...so...I often feel confused as to what I should really do?

23) I have tried quite a number of jobs before...I have been a sales promoter, tuition teacher, receptionist, clerk...but I've never worked as a waitress. Once I tried to interview for a waitress but I was rejected. The reason was that I'm too tiny and the boss was worried if I had the strength to carry those plates. The job I enjoyed most was being a receptionist cos my job is just to sit there for 7 hours plus I get tips if the customer likes me. I used to get RM30 tip from a Datuk which visited the place every week...=P

24) I've always had this longing to watch the sunrise and sunset by the beach or up on a hill. Unfortunately, I never get the chance to see it. I hope I can realise this 'dream' someday.

25) I hated Chemistry in school. I remember cursing the person that discovered those Chemistry formulas. That subject made my life in form 6 a very miserable one.

Hope that anyone reading this can get a better understanding of me. Since many of my friends do not blog...the only person I can tag here is Violet...hahaha...

No more alcohol in public...

2009-06-20T02:03:00.004+08:00

We celebrated Jess's bday in advance today...n we had some beer. I always knew my face would go red with a little bit of alcohol so I've always avoided alcohol when I'm outside. But since everyone was so happy today, so I thought 'what the heck?' and started drinking with everyone else. Big, big mistake. The face was red with the first glass. Even more red-der for the second glass. In a nutshell, my face looked like a tomato lolz. I was avoiding taking pics because of my tomato face! But a few of the pics with my tomato face leaked into facebook eventually...So next time, I'm not going to have alcohol in public places or outings anymore!!

Anyways, we had a great time. Really missed the old gang =)

3.6.09

2009-06-04T01:11:00.002+08:00

Was really moody by the time I finished class today...went home and slept for a while to kill the moodiness but it didn't work, as I didn't have lunch and I was starving. Ended up having a headache due to too much sleep. Was really annoyed with my bf for keeping me waiting. He told me he'd be here by 5pm to bring me to Pavilion. The mood became worse. Sat in front of the com to kill time while thinking of the Subway sandwiches that I'm going to have. Finally the bf turned up at 6pm...

And I finally got my Subway sandwich! Stuffed with chicken, turkey and ham...topped with BBQ and Thousand Island sauce. wahahahaha...I'm so satisfied now lolz. After that, we went for some window shopping, and had more food in Food Republic (Braised Beef Noodles at Little Taiwan). Went for a movie later...came home feeling happy and content. And the day ended in a happy mood...haha...XD

Dear Diary

2009-06-02T23:36:00.004+08:00

I've never had the habit of keeping a diary when I was young, and I'm not doing it now either. However, whenever I was unhappy or frustrated, I'd write down my feelings onto a piece of paper and keep it. That was during my teens. I remember throwing those papers away some few years ago. But it did lighten up the burden a little bit if I write those frustrations down. That's what I'm trying to do now.

I have finished my diploma and am now in the first semester of advanced diploma. It's already the 2nd week into my first semester. Before the semester started, I found myself wondering what kind of coursemates I'll be getting, how many coursemates I'll have, what kind of new friends I'll be meeting, and what kind of interesting things I'll be learning. All these excitement and longingness ended when the reality of everything came crashing down on me yesterday. There were 200+ students in the advanced diploma level...and all of us were divided into 10 tutorial groups. Each group has 25 students. My group has only 10 students. All the subjects are boring...and the same goes with the lecturers. The timetable is lousy. To think that I'll have to study like this for the next 2 years! I miss my friends too. Now I realise how fun our classes used to be. There is nothing I can do now, but to accept it. Trying to make the best out of the worst situations...and convincing myself that "There's always a better tomorrow!!!"

Thanks Joy =)

2009-05-16T00:20:00.002+08:00

WHAT IS LIFE?
Life is an Adventure ... Dare it
Life is a Beauty ... Praise it
Life is a Challenge ... Meet it
Life is a Duty ... Perform it
Life is a Love ... Enjoy it
Life is a Tragedy ... Face it
Life is a Struggle ... Fight it
Life is a Promise ... Fulfill it
Life is a Game ... Play it
Life is a Gift ... Accept it
Life is a Journey ... Complete it
Life is a Mystery ... Unfold it
Life is a Goal ... Achieve it
Life is an Opportunity ... Take it
Life is a Puzzle ... Solve it
Life is a Song ... Sing it
Life is a Sorrow ... Overcome it
Life is a Spirit ... Realize it
-Anonymous

Lost sandals...

2009-05-08T11:57:00.015+08:00

This post should be written 2 days ago but it was late thanks to the pathetic internet connection provided by wimax. Anyway, I went to sunway lagoon to have some fun but ended up getting my sandals stolen (or mistakenly worn away by other ppl) but I think the probability that it's stolen is higher. That was my favorite slipper! I bought it from Voir and it's really comfortable. And just that morning I told my bf that nobody's going to steal our sandals =.="

I got my sandals stolen and Vui Ling's were spoilt, so here we are being barefoot at the end of the day. We were exhausted and hungry by 6pm...and so we went to the mall for dinner. But first, we had to buy some new sandals! I was looking for a pair of new sandals to replace the lost ones...but I couldn't find any that I liked. So I ended up with these...

Now I'm regretting it abit. Cos the only sandals I have left isn't that comfortable for long distance walks...especially when I'm walking around in the campus. Besides that, I already have too many heels...Nevertheless, we had great fun in Sunway Lagoon and I'm abit more tanned right now. The roller coaster ride was thrilling! Not forgetting the 'Tomahawk' ride...something like a windmill which spins u in 360 degrees. Lastly, here's a pic of us all that went there...I like this pic the most cos of the background. Sorry if the pic is too bright...my camera phone's fault. XD

Just a random post =)

2009-05-01T14:37:00.003+08:00

It's been some time since i've updated my blog. For the past few weeks, i've been living like a zombie...literally & figuratively. Life is quite boring for me ever since the exams ended. I went back to Ipoh last week for just 5 days...but at least i feel so fulfilled there. There's always something to do back in Ipoh (thanks to my mum with her habit of throwing away things & clearing unwanted stuff in the house & catching up with frens). Besides that, i've finally made up my mind to learn how to C-O-O-K. Yes...for those who know me well enough, u didn't read that word wrongly. After all these years of avoiding the kitchen i have finally decided to learn how to cook for my own good. Maybe after moving away from home, i've got tired of outside food. And also it gives a sense of accomplishment once u've finished a dish all by yourself. Right now i'm still on tutorials with my mum =P I haven't reached that level where i can cook all by myself due to lack of time (i was only back for 5 days). Anyhow, i'll be going back again next week and there'll be more time for me to learn.

To add something tat's totally unrelated to the previous topic...we all know the weather's been unusually hot lately. It's even hotter in Ipoh. To make matters worse...on one of the days when i decided to enjoy the air con for the night, the current went out. NO ELECTRICITY. And it was so hot!!! gossshhh....TNB really chooses a convenient time to cut off the electricity. And i had to sleep in the living room cos it was just too hot in the room with the mattress and all. Not to mention the mosquitoes. I had to keep on fanning myself to avoid the mosquitoes coming. In the end, the current came back at around 3.30am...thank goodness....

Mothers Day's coming around the corner. I'm still wondering what to get for my mum. Her palms are rather dry and peeling due to too much washing (clothes, dishes etc.). Actually, after having cooking lessons with her, i finally understood how her palms got to be like this. She's obsessed with washing >.< Anyway, i wonder if i could find a really good moisturising cream that can help make her skin better. Plan B is to get her a watch =)

p/s I've changed my blog title...if u've noticed. I hope it's okay...it sounds abit fancy to me though...

Dreams ^^

2009-04-22T11:43:00.002+08:00

I woke up today dreaming bout Cameron Highlands...hehe...it really made my day =) My friends and I are planning a trip to Cameron's. Just can't wait for it! I've been begging some of my other friends to go with me. Unfortunately, they're so tired n fed up of it that they dun wana go anymore. So finally, here's another group of friends that are willing to go with me! Yay! Hope it works out =)

Home Sweet Home!

2009-04-10T22:09:00.004+08:00

Hi...I've just came back to Ipoh by train this morning.
Some advice...

You should take a train in the morning if you :-
*love to cram in the LRT with working ppl & students on your way to the station
*wish to have blazing hot sun shining abundantly on your face, neck and hands
*love to sit leaning forward 45 degrees to avoid the sun
*wish to sit in tat position for 3 hours
*like the feeling of numbness in your arms as a result of holding on to the ROSAK window blind provided in the train
*love the feeling of being sleepy but unable to sleep at the same time (blazing sun)
*wish to reach your destination in a state of zombie-ness (lack of sleep)

Have a nice journey =)

Heartbroken

2009-04-05T18:10:00.002+08:00

A month ago i have been so excited bout a trip overseas tat i have been planning to go nxt year with my frens. Yesterday, my dream was shattered when i told my parents the plans...throughout the phone call i could only remember one word 'NO'....so disappointing. Ain't i supposed to have fun during my study years? wat's wrong wif having a bit of fun as long as i have enough to fund myself? they don't even let me go to a short trip to Sabah...where all expenses including air fares will not excede RM 500. to think i have to endure tis kind of life for 2 years...*sad*

Lost in the city

2009-03-30T09:19:00.002+08:00

The other day i was planning to travel bak to Ipoh by car. Usually we'd use the Bulatan Pahang n exit thru Jln Ipoh (i think tat's the name of the road). But tat day since we plan to leave right after my bf's class in Taylors, we decided to find an exit to the highway from Subang. Wrong decision! Cos we don't really know the roads there, and we took the road that a friend taught us. I didn't know what happened, maybe we took a wrong turn somewhere in the middle, we got LOST. After almost 1 year living (n driving) in kl, i would only have to say that the road signs r seriously misleading. It was totally frustrating cos we were driving in circles...at a point, we even reached the same place, twice! We went as far as Serdang n was in the highway to Kajang. It was in the totally wrong direction...n i remember seeing UPM on my left, then the next time, i saw the same building on my right. That was really horrible. I thought i will never get out of tat place alive...lolz. Luckily i wasn't the one driving. For the past 2 months, i've had a great share for being lost in this city n looking out for road signs. I'm really starting to get sick of it. On that day, i was on the verge of screaming at the driver (my bf) cos it was his 'wonderful idea' to find an exit from Subang, which has landed us in that situation. However, i had to control myself... couldnt blame it all on him. Somehow, we managed to find a way out of there n also find our way back to LDP. The whole ordeal ended in approximately...2 hours. Imagine being stuck in a maze for 2 hours!! It would be enough to drive anyone crazy. We had to cancel our stop in Bidor so that i can reach Ipoh in time, n then go to Beruas to where my sis is living, before 5pm. My bf's class ended at noon; we took 2 hours driving around UPM, it was already 3pm when we exited thru Rawang, reached Ipoh at 4.30pm n finally made it to Beruas at 5.30pm. Now i'm worried of getting summons for speeding at the highway...

A promise to myself

2009-03-30T08:45:00.003+08:00

Some days in our life, we feel a pang of sadness, which may conveniently turn into depression if it is not handled appropriately. This morning, i was looking through some of my friend's conversations in facebook, n a feeling of being not good enough came into me. I have always felt this way, from my childhood days until now. I have to admit that sometimes i will lack in confidence, and i love comparing myself against others, which makes things even worse. Having felt this, i quickly reminded myself of the promise i made to myself, and also to God. Not so long ago, i was in a state of depression and shutting myself away from the world. Most of my friends didn't realise this, cos i act normal around them, but in the inside i was screaming. My bf got fed up of my constantly ongoing complaints and in some days he even lost his temper on me. One particular night, i felt depressed again n while i was lying in bed n staring at the ceiling overwhelmed with unhappiness, a thought came to my mind: Feeling depressed n complaining bout everything doesn't change the fact. So why am i letting these thoughts upset me n wasting my time being unhappy? With this thought in mind, i felt released! As if somebody has lifted the weight off my shoulders. I realised that being happy n contented was so much easier than being depressed. I made a promise to myself, that i will not let the remarks of others defeat me. Just have faith n pride in myself...because God made everyone special =D

Guilt

2009-03-20T21:50:00.002+08:00

Guilt is such a horrible feeling that it haunts u day and night...eventually causing u to hate yourself for being such a scum!

Just now, I read a blog of a friend (i'll jz name tat fren as 'Z')...in that blog, Z mentioned something bout being hurt cos of my (more like, me & friends') actions. At that time, it didn't seem like a big problem to us though we knew we may have hurt Z due to our actions. We thought it would just be a 'small & temporary effect'...something like, 'oh, okay...never mind. There's always another chance' kind of thing. Never have I imagined that it would cause such a huge effect on Z!! In that blog, Z really sounded hurt & sad & unhappy & disappointed & more...n to think that I & my frens have totally forgotten bout tat matter. Well, we've tried to compensate for our fault, but i guess it wouldn't be enough to make good to the hurt we've caused.

So now, after reading the blog, i'm feeling extremely guilty. And i start to think of how i used to be in the past...i can't really describe how i was in this blog but one thing for sure is that i try very hard to avoid lying, gossipping, talking bad bout others behind their back, teasing others etc etc. wow...i must've been such an angel back then! Anyway, i think i've changed alot. i've changed to become really mean!! (especially those tat i dislike) gosh...i must change...or else i'll slowly become a bitch haha. Must bear in mind that when we're teasing others, others may be teasing us as well. Hopefully i am able to constantly remind myself to be kind & nice to those whom i dislike, as a way of apologizing to those tat i've hurt, either knowingly or unknowingly.

Expressions of the Mind

2009-03-15T19:06:00.002+08:00

TRUST...does it exist in this world? Of course, all of us have come to this stage in life where we shouldn't be so naive as to believe that TRUST can really exist in everyone. I wonder what's so fun in telling people stupid lies, and when others really believe it, having a good laugh at that person? Again and again, this has happened to me. It is really upsetting me...and hurting me as well. Just because I do not get mad easily doesn't mean I don't have feelings. Don't people have respect for others' feelings anymore? Maybe I was being too naive to treat my friends with trust, but isn't that how it works? I don't even know whether the people around me are telling me the truth or just treating me like some kind of entertainment for themselves. What I hate most is that in the end, I always forgive them without them knowing what hurt they have caused in me. Sometimes, it's really frustrating to be sooooooo kind and soft hearted. It really places me at a disadvantage in life. But what can I do? I can't help it ! *sigh*

"Old" Age...???

2009-03-11T09:54:00.002+08:00

I was born in 1986, and hence this is my 23rd year of existence in this world. However, i've just only really started my tertiary education last year. Most of my coursemates were younger than me...around 21 or 22 years. Since i was doing quite okay in my current course, a lot of people asked me why did i enter so late? If i were to enter at the age of 20, i would've finished the course by now. The explanation for this would be due to my failure to be admitted into local uni back at the time when i have just finished form 6, and at that time i didn't want to leave Ipoh so i chose a college in Ipoh, which at that time, seemed to be the best choice. The next mistake is to enrol myself into a totally lousy course (secretarial). At that time i've never heard of company secretaries and ICSA...i only discovered this particular field of profession after entering that lousy course. So when i come to think of it, that course wasn't that lousy after all, since it helped me discover what i really want to do in my life.

Another thing is when there are gatherings, or whenever i bump into old friends, the standard question would be, "Hey, how are you? Where are you working now?" And my answer would be, "Fine...still studying now, two years to go." And their response will be, "Why so long? What course you taking?" Sometimes i would feel quite embarrassed cos some of them have been working for some few years already and here i am having to wait for 2 more years for me to enter the society. This situation has bothered me for some time. However, if it wasn't for the 2 years that i have 'wasted' in ipoh, i would not have met my bf now, i would not have been able to bring my kancil to kl, i would not have chosen the correct course, i would not have been so determined to study hard (cos i don't want to waste any more time)...in short, i would not have been who i am now.

At the end of the day, what i want to say here is : Everything in life happens for a reason, and everyone plays an important role in somebody else's life... (This message was also in a book titled 'The Five People You Meet In Heaven" by Mitch Albom...which was a really good book. I would recommend everyone to read this!)I say this because my decision to stay back in ipoh at that time was influenced by my ex. So, we just need to find out the reasoning behind everything that has happened and i'm no more embarassed when people ask me why i started my course so late.

Food!!!

2009-02-24T23:04:00.009+08:00

Food is something tat u will love & hate at the same time. This is sooo true esp for those trying to keep fit haha...anyway, this blog will be all about food. Just wanna share some of the food i tried lately =)

The cake here may not be a stranger to some, but it's definitely a surprise for me! This cake is from Coffee Bean called Strawberry Mousse Cheese Cake. It was really really really delicious...yummy! I really love it, except tat it's quite hard to cut wif the fork cos of the layer of choc on top. The heart-shaped thingy is actually made up of a hard layer of sugar with mousse cheese fillings. So u can imagine how it tastes inside ur mouth...u can literally feel it melting on ur tongue =P

Directly translated from cantonese, this should be known as 'chicken egg tea', which is my favourite. Whenever i go back to ipoh, i'll definitely stop by the coffee shop in old town (not the oldtown kopitiam, but the actual old town in ipoh) to drink it!

I'm sure many people have tasted this delicacy...Chocolate Fondue! This is the chocolate fondue from Ice Ice Baby in Penang. Looks delicious, right? hehehe...unfortunately, i had a stomache upset the next day whereby i vomitted it all out >.< Nevertheless, it was still very delicious when i ate it, especially when i dip the bread into the chocolate =D

Benjamin Button

2009-02-23T23:37:00.002+08:00

I have just watched The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button & it was a great movie...it was so touching! It's not like any other movie which usually have the elements of suspense, action, romance all in one. This movie is just a commentary about the life of Benjamin which is going in reversed order & his view about life. It really gives u an insight about life through the eyes of Benjamin. The saddest part of the movie was towards the end when Daisy grew older & Benjamin became younger and younger. Benjamin had to leave Daisy & his daughter Caroline so that Caroline may lead a normal life. It must have been so hard to leave the ppl u love most. There was a scene where Benjamin returned to see his daughter & Daisy had to introduce him as a mutual friend. The worst part is where Daisy went back to the home to take care of Benjamin many yrs later, who has now become a child with dementia. Imagine looking at a child that used to be your husband n doesn't remember who u r! Daisy was taking care of Benjamin who slowly forgot how to read, how to write, how to walk...In the end, Benjamin "grew" into a baby n died in Daisy's arms...so sad. I really admire Daisy for being so strong to handle all these. Overall, the movie was almost 3 hours & ppl with less patience will not appreciate it. For those who appreciate this kind of movie, i will strongly reccommend it =)

How I Spent My Holiday

2009-02-16T11:10:00.005+08:00

As far as all the DBM2 students are concerned, our last paper for the semester is Company Law. So, after going through the agonising few hours inside the exam hall, we went back home n packed our stuff n started our road trip to...PENANG!!! We went on 2 cars: me, my honey, ai may, her bf cheng khai, doris, vui ling n her fren, jess n her fren, siew yen n sek lee. 11 people all crammed into an aveo n a kancil...not counting all the luggage.

The whole journey to penang took 7 hours. Shocking? haha...my kancil started first at 3.30pm n jess started about an hour later cos she had to get the car from her brother. So, we waited for the other car at tapah. Then, since it was almost dinner time, we stopped by ipoh to have some taugeh ayam =) After dinner, we continued our journey again, which was slowed down by pouring rain in the highway n low visibility since it was already night time n the highway from ipoh to taiping was full of curves n turnings. By the time we reached penang, it was already 10pm. Since there was 10 of us n just 2 bathrooms...it was almost midnight before all of us had settled down.

The first day in penang...we went to St Anne's Church...n took alot of pics there (pls refer to facebook for the pics). Then, we crossed over to the island via the Penang Bridge, and went to Kek Lok Si Temple. Not that it was my first time there, but it still feels good to be there again. After Kek Lok Si, we went down to the laksa stall at the foot of the hill to enjoy penang laksa. (Vui Ling fell in love with cendol there n since then, she ordered cendol for every meal lolz) After the meal, jess took us to Batu Ferringhi. It was around 1 hours' drive from Kek Lok Si Temple. Everyone in the car fell asleep except the driver hahah...by the way, i really marvel Ai May's ability to sleep anywhere at anytime. It seems as if she sleeps the moment she sits down in the car!! (i hope she's not reading) So we relaxed at the beach, tried the banana boat (which was exciting at first but once we adjusted to the waves, it was actually kinda boring) n Siew Yen was thrown into the water by my bf. Then, we went to Gurney Drive to have dinner. Vui Ling ordered cendol again, n had a quick stroll around Gurney Plaza...where i bought a blouse. Around 9pm, we started our journey back to the mainland (not surprisingly, ai may was sleeping in the car), n went to Bukit Tambun for another meal of SEAFOOD!!!!! Everyone was really exhausted...

The second day in penang...it was really a rush cos 5 of us will be going bak to KL in the afternoon. Some needed to catch a bus or flight back to their hometown, leaving 5 of us behind. In the morning, we went to Myanmar Temple and the Thai Temple, which happens to be opposite of each other. Took alot of pics there again (refer to facebook). In the event of throwing some coins into the lake, Sek Lee knocked down 1 of the signboards in the middle of the lake. There's a huge Buddha statue in the Myanmar Temple and a huge Sleeping Buddha statue in the Thai Temple. Later on, we went to have lunch in a hawker centre nearby. Again, Vui Ling ordered cendol...hahah...4pm arrived, n the 5 of them took the bus back to KL. With the half day left, the remaining 5 of us went to Seberang Prai Parade for shopping (it was really huge) n AutoCity. Later that night, we went for a midnight movie - Pink Panther 2 - n immediately regretted for not bringing our jackets cos it was literally freezing cold in that place.

The third day in penang...in the morning, we went for breakfast nearby jess's house...then her parents took us to visit a temple that was recently built. After that, we went to the foot of Bukit Mertajam. There were monkeys n waterfalls. Because i wasn't feeling quite well ( i was feeling dizzy), i didn't follow them up the hill to see the hanging bridge. There is a hanging bridge way up the hill but it is broken now. After that, Vui Ling n her fren took the bus back to KL n we started our journey back to ipoh.

So there you are...a very brief summary of my trip to Penang. ;-)

My Valentines' Day

2009-02-16T10:53:00.003+08:00

After much anticipation, valentines day has finally arrived! But it was not how i wanted it to be. Initially, we planned to go on a one day trip to Cameron Highlands (cos i havent been there for a long time n has always wanted to go there but most of the time didn't make it due to some "unforeseen circumstances"). I told my honey i didnt want any gift for valentines day, i just want to celebrate it by going to Cameron Highlands. Two days before valentines day, my honey had a quarrel with his family n...in the end, i failed to go to Cameron Highlands due to yet another "unforeseen circumstance". So, my dream for this year's valentines day was broken.

How did i celebrate my valentines day? I just went to Bidor n spent the whole day with him. When he was working, i just sat there n read newspapers. When it was dinner time, we went to a small cafe n had a steak. That's all...sounds simple but actually i was rather satisfied. At least we spent the whole day together =) I think the "unforeseen circumstance" served to remind me that a valentines day celebration did not have to be well planned and special in order to be memorable. Some things can be ordinary yet beautiful at the same time...

Special days, events & celebrations

2009-02-08T14:52:00.000+08:00

Another year has passed, n Valentines' Day is round the corner again. i wonder how i will be celebrating it this year? The past two valentines didn't really count as celebrated...in fact, some of the other special days such as birthdays & anniversaries were so traumatic tat i told my honey i didn't want to celebrate it anymore. Erm, i know u must be wondering wat happened to me on my previous valentines days...well...i would not want to mention it but let's say it always involved tears.

My honey & i never got to celebrate our first valentines day cos it was during CNY n he had to go back to his hometown to help out wif his father's business. It was quite disappointing for me, but i had to deal with it anyway. For the second year, valentines day was during CNY again, but tis time he managed to come up to ipoh to celebrate it with me. He sent me flowers to my workplace, with admiration from all my other colleagues n friends. At night we got into some quarelling which lasted for like, almost 1 hour, which ruined the whole day. Please do not ask wat started the quarrel bcos when i come to think of it, it's such a silly thing tat i cant imagine we let it ruin our valentines day tat year.

There's almost 1 week left to valentines day. I dunno whether it will be a memorable one, a fiasco, or maybe even nothing at all. Maybe i shouldnt be expecting anything at all. No expectations, no disappointments...right? There is a saying tat valentines day originated from a person named st. valentine, who upon rejection by his mistress was so heartbroken tat he took a knife to his chest n sent her his still-beating heart as a token of his undying love for her. As much as i want to celebrate a 'proper' valentines day...i seriously hope tat i will never receive a beating heart as a valentines gift cos it will probably scare the hell out of me. Maybe i should just convince myself tat valentines day is just a commercialised event tat is widely publicised by some ppl aimed at taking advantage of gullible minds (like mine) so they will spend double or triple on gifts, flowers n dinners. But a girl is a girl after all, and i think every girl wishes herself to be pampered on valentines day. Don't u think so?

Welcome to my blog!

2009-02-08T13:35:00.000+08:00

Hey guys...i've just created a blog! Ironically, i used to disapprove of blogging. Why? Cos it seems like a waste of time n also unlikely tat ppl will be reading it. Maybe u'll be asking y am i starting to blog now...well, most probably it's cos i'm just too free tat i'm just blogging to kill time n dun really care if anyone is reading it. Another reason is tat i can't refuse everything in life, so i might as well give it a try. Well, this will just be a short introduction...more to come in the future ;-)